Teen Wolf Recaps: Ghosted

Teen Wolf Recaps: Ghosted

My family does this thing where we celebrate Christmas not on Christmas for two reasons; first, it’s much cheaper to fly in early December or mid-January, and two, we had a two-year sequence where my husband and I flew on Christmas eve and ended up spending eight hours delayed in the Las Vegas airport, watching everyone around us lose their shit, and then the next year ended up stranded in the San Francisco airport due to a snowstorm in Portland. We watched our names move backwards on the waiting list for flights for several hours, then, finally reserved a rental car only to find out when we got to the office that all the rental cars had been rented, and then we spent 17 hours with a total stranger driving to Oregon. I have kind of been a dick about flying on Christmas ever since. (Even though the stranger was lovely, and is a science journalist! You should read her stuff! I don’t care, I still don’t want any unplanned road trips the day before Christmas.)

Anyway, this year we had Christmas on Epiphany, so I had to try to sneak in my Teen Wolf habit around family time, and I have watched the episode, but this recap is going to be terrible. Reader, do you remember when I used to spend several hours on Sunday afternoon recapping the episodes scene by scene? Me neither, I have not had enough sleep to remember anything from more than a week ago. Here goes.

There are three plots this episode. Least important and most hilarious, Scott’s mom, Melissa, is trying to save JR Bourne from the supernatural poison emitted by the ghost rider’s whips. He’s in the hospital, but surgery will apparently not only kill him but maybe everyone in the surgical theater? That was the implication, anyway. He tells Melissa that she can combine seven (or nine? Who cares.) herbs known to combat supernatural poisoning. If she combines them in the wrong proportions, he’ll die, but if she combines them in the right proportions, maybe he’ll live. She was probably a big nerd in nursing school because she gets out a pad to take notes. JR Bourne is all “btw I only know their names in Celtic.” Melissa sighs a huge sigh and pulls up google translate on her phone. I am not kidding, that is how she solves that problem, obviously, as one would, so why is it even here? Anyway, spoiler alert, JR is fine.

The second plot is the Liam & Hayden plot, and honestly I don’t care very much about Liam and Hayden. They are trying to catch a Ghost Rider and their plot is a carnival of bad choices as they 1) Team up with the obviously evil science teacher who murders people for their pineal glands and 2) Resurrect Theo, the homicidal manufactured-by-the-dread-doctors werewolf from last season. The plot does not advance far enough for them to actually attempt capturing a Ghost Rider, just far enough for them to make two terrible alliances. Theo does tell them that the Ghost Riders are supposed to pass through, not stick around taking person after person. If they are doing that it must be because they are stuck!

Finally, the main plot is the plot I care about. It has all the cast members I like and is spooky as shit. Lydia sees a lady (obvs a banshee, duh) in a mirror at school and follows her through the mirror to Canaan (convenient!) where she sees a “Canaan day block party” invaded by Ghost Riders who turn everyone at the block party into green smoke except the lady who brought Lydia who kind of loses her shit seeing everyone vanish and starts screaming “IT’S NOT REAL.” I don’t blame her! Lydia takes Scott and Malia to Canaan after some killer research to find its former location. It’s a 1980s ghost town! Which is surprisingly terrifying. There is a deserted carousel that starts back up when Scott touches it. There is a little boy (GHOST) who leads them back to a house where they find the woman from Lydia’s vision. She is . . . not dealing well with isolation.

First she serves them gross lemonade and is all happy to see humans. Then she flips out when they ask about people “disappearing.” Then she telekinetically slams the front door when they try to leave and is all oh HELL no you are not leaving me here alone with my drowned ghost son. Lydia has a heart to heart with her while Caleb the ghost child tries to telekinetically drown Scott & Malia in the basement. Did I mention that it is hella creepy? I honestly don’t remember that they found out anything useful, but I like the three of them and I am glad they made it out okay. Lydia has a banshee fight with the other banshee and later after she gets back she’s like “if Beacon Hills goes the way of Canaan I will be left all alone because I am also a banshee, and I will probably go insane too.” Aww. That’s sad, Lydia.

The final thing that happens is that Stylinski is up late reading and mulling over Scott telling him he probably forgot his first/only-born son’s existence, and the reanimatrix is all “what’s up” and he’s all “nothing” and there’s creepy music and then he sees where Lydia peeled up a corner of the wallpaper and starts to peel it up more and I don’t know what he’s going to find there but I bet it’s CREEPY and probably is going to implicate his not-really-his-wife the reanimatrix.

See you next week, wolfpack.

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