Great Scolds in Herstory: Run-in with a Jerk-Off

Great Scolds in Herstory: Run-in with a Jerk-Off

Welcome to Great Scolds in Herstory!

A celebration of women causing a ruckus. 

(For more on Scolding, check out our inaugural post.)

 

Great Scolds in Herstory #1:

Run-in with a Jerk-Off

I felt full of limitless possibilities that Sunday evening, way back in April 2015. Even though I was cooped up at work for most of the crisp sunny April day, I had an excellent self-date after work.  I took advantage of the remaining daylight hours and long awaited spring weather and strolled around by myself for a few hours. I stopped for a delicious bowl of noodle soup at Mee's on 2nd Avenue followed by a delicious bowl of froyo at Sixteen Handles.

I was happy it was spring, happy to be alive, and happy to be full of various carbs. Plus, I was high on the recent Hillary4Prez news. Even my dislike of her politics couldn't keep me from feeling a certain joy at seeing a woman announce she was running. Life was the tits.

I took the bus home. There, while cruising back to Queens, I encountered a man on another kind of self-date. He was sitting right across from me as I texted a dear friend on another coast. I noticed he was staring intently at the very pretty (and young) Latina girl sitting right next to me. Then I noticed a big girthy dick hanging out of his pants.

It still took me a minute to realize what was going on as he stroked himself across the aisle. But soon the feminist rage filled me and I felt as though I could kill that man right there on the bus. Me and these other ladies on the bus paid our $2.75 just like everybody else and we did not pay to be jerked to by some rando creeper. FUCK THAT SHIT! HILLARY WAS RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT!  Women can do anything! Can’t we ride home on the bus unmolested?!

Since my phone was already out, I decided to snap a few pics. Then I moved on to the next step: I got up and started screaming bloody murder in his face.

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING? GET OFF THE BUS! THERE ARE KIDS HERE AND ME AND THESE OTHER GIRLS DID NOT PAY $2.75 TO GET JERKED TO!”

I held the jerker's jacket open so everyone could see his dick. The primarily Latino bus started gasping and muttering "Sucio! Eso no se hace en el bus!". Moms and abuelitas started grabbing their kids and moving away. Despite his dick being on full display, the guy kept calling me a liar. The bus driver stopped the bus and started shouting too: "Alright, pal. Ya gotta get off the bus now!"

Still full of feminist rage, I continued grabbing his coat and shoving him toward the door.  I felt like I could have stabbed him with my rinkydink pocket knife and had no fear. Did I mention that Hillary is running for president?!?!

The jerker eventually got off the bus, all while still calling me a liar. The bus driver was nice enough to get my info and a copy of the dick pic for his supervisor and gave me the info needed to report it. I felt pretty amazing for a while - like I had somehow made up for every time that I had been street harassed and every time I’d kicked myself for not saying or doing anything.

But of course, that faded and I now wish I had walked off the bus with the jerker and flagged down a cop. The street we were driving down is usually peppered with cops due to the large amount of bars. Kicking myself again. I bet Hillary would have done the right thing.

In addition to the regret I felt for not grabbing a cop, I also felt shamed by other people, women mostly, for putting myself in danger. My mother was furious with me. Female friends asked if I had a death wish. I don’t, I just wanted to get home. I guess women can run for president but they can't demand to be treated like people on a public bus.  I want my $2.75 back.

 

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