Actual Google Reviews of Prisons
Allenwood Low Federal Correctional Institution
“As a minority incarcerated for drug offenses, I was introduced to money launderers and other white collar criminals who would make me "America's Next Millionaire"....After learning the ins and outs of white collar crimes such as stock manipulation, covert pyramid schemes, illicit Ponzi and boiler room tactics, I was ready to take on the world upon my release.
Wallyworld helped shape me into a more covert, discreet and overall smarter enterprise criminal. The whiners I dealt with on a daily basis there - assisted me with understanding the ins and outs of wiretapping laws, money laundering, trust fund engineering and overall covering my ASSets.”
“Sweet, this place is like the Collector's home. Full of all the rarest baddies in the world. I feel like it would make a decent attraction if they had a glass wall in their cells. Either way 9.5/10 def would return. “
“This place is the bomb. I got to chill with the Unibomber, the shoe bomber, and the underwear bomber.“
“... i got to meet gucci mane…”
United States Penitentiary, Terre Haute
*all of the reviews (seriously all of them) demand Gucci Mane’s release*
“In two words, one may sum up Leavenworth as "maximum security" or "new alcatraz", but in my opinions, I found it to be more, "Leaven-worth it!"
Inverness Multnomah County Inverness Jail
“This was without question THE WORST BED AND BREAKFAST EVER!!! I would say that I will never go back, but, in light of my methamphetamine addiction, I will almost certainly visit these folks again. “
FCI Three Rivers
“The food was absolutely terrible. Obviously, the feds never raid any kitchens to arrest competent chefs.”
United States Penitentiary Atlanta
“All incarceration facilities are stupid”