Top 10 Sexy Halloween Costumes (that your most judgmental friend will definitely have a problem with)
It's Halloween! Or Straight Pride, as it's been called. A time for ghouls, goblins, and dressing as you want!
So in that spirit (spoooooooky!) we present to you our favorite sexy Halloween costumes that your most judgmental friend, Nicole, will probably talk shit about behind your back.
#1) Sexy Kim Kardashian
Kim K. is sexy, but dressing up as her will only make your friend Nicole talk about how the Kardashians represent the death of American culture. Ugh. What a drag.
#2) Sexy vampire
You dressed as a sexy vampire a few years ago, and Nicole mentioned how she thinks Halloween is “just a holiday for women to dress like sluts.” Considering you were wearing a bustier and fishnets at the time, you can’t help but feel like she was directing that comment at you.
#3) Sexy Firefighter
This one's perfect because you can reuse the suspenders from your Sexy Clown costume from last year, but Nicole has to go and remind everyone that a firefighter would never wear hot pants on the job.
#4) Sexy Catwoman
This costume is a classic. But can you believe that Nicole called it “akin to bestiality?” She said she was just joking...but it's kind of hard to tell with her, right?
#5) Sexy Cop
You'd think the problem Nicole would have with this costume is the glorification of a weaponized police force. But, no. Nicole just thinks it's "skanky."
#6) Sexy Nurse
Nurses are the unsung heros of our health care complex, and surely they get to look sexy every now and then, right? But will Nicole appreciate that? No, you can bet she will not.
#7) Sexy bandit
What a cute idea! You could go as a sexy thief or a cute little raccoon. But Nicole wants you to go as a hobo, and doesn’t that sort of show some class blindness on Nicole's part? Strange.
#8) Sexy Pirate
Sexy pirate is a fun look and you can make a papier mâché parrot to sit on your shoulder. Fun, that is, until Nicole starts talking about what life would have really been like for a woman on a pirate ship. And while she’s not wrong, she’s definitely making it difficult to invite her to your Halloween party.
#9) Sexy Jimmy Carter
This one is absurd and hilarious, plus you still get to look cute! Yet, somehow, Nicole will have a problem with it. Why do you still hang out with her anyway?
#10) Sexy Slut
For when you realize you just want to end your friendship with Nicole.