The Ultimate Guide to Enjoying the World Series
Late October is here once again which means it’s time to hold your coffee mug with two hands as you sit wrapped in a blanket on the couch. We all know autumn is for Instagramming the beautiful foliage and then filling with rage as you spend 6 hours on a Saturday raking your yard. The smell of pumpkin spiced lattes fills the crisp air while you fight off thoughts of your impending seasonal depression. I like to spend my fall days wondering how I let three quarters of a year slip by without accomplishing anything of note. What a magical season.
There’s something different about Autumn 2016 though. I’m feeling a little more hopeful than usual and I think it’s because this year’s World Series is going to be freaking awesome. It’s no run-of-the-mill Fall Classic. America’s lovable losers, the Chicago Cubs, are poised to take on those oh so inappropriately named Indians hailing from the “Mistake on the Lake”, Cleveland.
These are two cities that truly cherish their teams and this World Series is going to be worth watching, even if you aren’t into baseball.
Let me break it down and show you how to truly get in the World Series spirit!
The matchup between Chicago and Cleveland is truly of epic proportions and historical significance.
The Chicago Cubs haven’t won a World Series since 1908. This is literally before sliced bread was invented. This is before the NFL, NHL, and NBA were in existence. It’s just absurd they haven’t won since 1908. Many Chicagoans believe they are cursed and frankly, there’s a lot of evidence backing this theory (I’d explain the curse, but I’m lazy and you can just Google it…it involves a billygoat). As someone who once believed Babe Ruth put an 86 year hex on my beloved Red Sox, I truly understand Chicago’s pain.
Cleveland is having a heck of a year. Their basketball team, led by LeBron James, won the NBA championship in June, and now the Indians are four wins away from their first World Series since 1948. Cleveland is doing their best to rid themselves of the “Mistake on the Lake” reputation.
So what we have here are two of the most lovable losers in all of sports going head-to-head for all the glory and to redeem a century’s worth of disappointment.
Full disclosure: I’m cheering for the Cubs. I have family and friends in Chicagoland and they have suffered long enough. Plus, I’m a native Masshole and Red Sox fan and I remember what life was like before the Sox won their first World Series in 2004 after an 86 year drought. It was brutal and heartbreaking. The good people of Chicago have waited long enough.
There’s no better time to do indulge in unhealthy food than during a sporting event. I’m using the World Series as an excuse to make Chicago and Cleveland themed dinners. I consulted with a few natives from each city and here’s what they recommended:
Chicago Style Hot Dog - I hate hot dogs, but the Chicago style hot dog is famous for it’s Vienna beef hot dog, nestled in a poppyseed bun. The toppings include yellow mustard, relish, chopped onions, tomato wedges, a kosher pickle spear, spicy peppers, and celery salt.
Deep Dish Pizza - Probably the most iconic food to come out of Chicago, the deep dish pizza is the arch rival of the New York style thin crust. I personally believe the deep dish is inferior to the thin crust (sorry, but I’m a ride or die bitch from the east coast). But I’ll admit, I’ve had a few deep dishes and they are tasty. They’re also incredibly filling and I’ve never had more than one slice in a sitting, which completely goes against pizza logic.
Polish Boy - Are there a lot of Polish people in Cleveland? As I was researching and asking Cleveland friends what foods the city is famous for and most of what was recommended was Polish in origin. So the Polish Boy is a kielbasa sandwich, with cole slaw, french fries, and barbecue sauce. It sounds glorious and I’m going to attempt to make it this week.
Pierogis - You really can’t go wrong with pierogis. If you like potatoes and dumplings, you’ll love pierogis. I’ve never attempted to make them, so it’s an almost guarantee I’ll burn the shit out of them.
I’m not good at much, but I’m good at drinking beer. I’m pretty sure there’s a country song about this. If you enjoy consuming adult beverages, here’s a few you’ll need for this year’s World Series:
Goose Island 312 Urban Pale Ale or Wheat Ale - I love Goose Island. I’ve had a bunch of their beers and have yet to be disappointed. The 312 Urban Pale Ale is my fave. Two thumbs up.
Old Style - Old Style is such an iconic Chicago staple I had to include it. Yes, it tastes like piss and has seemingly no redeeming qualities, but when I think “Chicago” I think “Old Style”. If you’re cheering for the Cubbies, you’re going to want to have a case of these bad boys in the fridge.
Great Lakes Brewing Co. Dortmunder Gold Lager - Apparently, Ohio is producing some of the best beers in the country. Who knew? I did some research and Great Lakes Brewing seems to be one of the top dogs and their Dortmund Gold Lager has some pretty solid reviews. Unlike the Chicago beers, I don’t believe I’ve ever actually had a beer from Cleveland. If someone wants to send me some, I’d be more than happy to give them a try!
Fat Head’s Hop JuJu - Again, I’ve never tasted this beer but it’s won some awards and the name of the brewery and the beer makes me giggle, so go ahead and get yourself some Fat Head’s Hop JuJu this World Series!
GAMES TO PLAY
I’ve decided to provide you with an easy drinking game to entertain yourself during the games. Simply follow the instructions below:
1. Drink every time the word “curse” is mentioned.
2. Drink every time someone in your house/at the bar yells “COME ON” in disgust at an umpire.
3. Drink every time someone mentions the movie “Major League” and/or Charlie Sheen.
4. Drink every time the name “Steve Bartman” is uttered or the infamous goat is mentioned.
5. Drink every time someone references the movie “Rookie of the Year”.
You will be drunk in about 8 minutes.
This is going to be an epic World Series. I hope you’ll join me in some good old fashioned debauchery. Cheers!